Bus Diaries: Episode one
Most people spend a sizable part of their lives commuting. I might be one of the few who actually enjoy it. Wait a second, lower those eyebrows! Well most of the time it is just peaceful.... wind blowing across your face, checking out the normal and abnormal people passing by, listening to music, getting some shut-eye on your neighbor's shoulder (not to mention a little bit of drool too) to name a few. But on the remaining days, it is truly hell on earth (My bus woes will probably take up another post.) Although, these are the days where all the memorable events take place.
So I have decided to write about them in a series of posts called the Bus diaries. Here is episode one...
The Ninja Old Lady
It was just another normal day. I was returning home from a friend's place who had a housewarming ceremony. I got into a full bus (No place to sit but loads of place to stand) and went straight for the seats reserved for women, which is what any sane female would do. It soon transpired that I was the only person standing, so naturally everyone was staring at me. Of course this made me a bit restless, also the minute fact that I was wearing killer high heels did not help one bit. So naturally I decided to use telepathy on the woman sitting nearest to me, to make her get up... People let me tell you this.... telepathy has worked 40% of the time in such scenarios. (Although it just might be because the people I was trying to influence found me staring at them a wee bit creepy.) This case, however, was the other 60% where it didn't make a difference. I repeated this several times with other women, but sadly I was unsuccessful.
After about 15 minutes, I was strangely still the only one standing. But right then I saw a man getting up from one of the general seats behind me. With a hallelujah chorus playing in my head I dashed across towards his seat. He had a big bag wedged between his feet so it took him a while to get up completely. The entire time I was standing there, holding the seat handles, waiting patiently. But when he did stand up, I saw this shape approaching with the speed of light through the corner of my eye. I assumed that it was just another person running to get off. But to my disbelief, it was a little old woman who dived right beneath my arms and jumped into the vacant seat, all in a fraction of a second. So there I was still holding seat handle, one leg raised slightly, staring at this woman. Let me tell you this, she was reeaallllllyyyy old! And sweet bejeezers... she had to be a ninja! THERE WAS NO ONE BUT ME STANDING! To add further insult to injury, the woman was completely avoiding my gaze. I know this because I was staring at her a full one minute to see if she was for real.
Well I managed to turn away from her and return to the ladies side and to my horror saw a whole bunch of people laughing at me. They saw everything! I managed a shaky smile back so I would seem cool and unfazed by it, when the truth is, I was bested by an old woman half my size! (and my size is half the normal human size, so that's saying something) Thankfully, I got a seat in the next few minutes, probably out of pity, and managed to make myself inconspicuous. The entire ride home I kept replaying the scene in my head wondering from which dimension she came from.
Now, when I think about it, it seems ridiculously funny and am vary of all old women in buses.
So I have decided to write about them in a series of posts called the Bus diaries. Here is episode one...
The Ninja Old Lady
It was just another normal day. I was returning home from a friend's place who had a housewarming ceremony. I got into a full bus (No place to sit but loads of place to stand) and went straight for the seats reserved for women, which is what any sane female would do. It soon transpired that I was the only person standing, so naturally everyone was staring at me. Of course this made me a bit restless, also the minute fact that I was wearing killer high heels did not help one bit. So naturally I decided to use telepathy on the woman sitting nearest to me, to make her get up... People let me tell you this.... telepathy has worked 40% of the time in such scenarios. (Although it just might be because the people I was trying to influence found me staring at them a wee bit creepy.) This case, however, was the other 60% where it didn't make a difference. I repeated this several times with other women, but sadly I was unsuccessful.
After about 15 minutes, I was strangely still the only one standing. But right then I saw a man getting up from one of the general seats behind me. With a hallelujah chorus playing in my head I dashed across towards his seat. He had a big bag wedged between his feet so it took him a while to get up completely. The entire time I was standing there, holding the seat handles, waiting patiently. But when he did stand up, I saw this shape approaching with the speed of light through the corner of my eye. I assumed that it was just another person running to get off. But to my disbelief, it was a little old woman who dived right beneath my arms and jumped into the vacant seat, all in a fraction of a second. So there I was still holding seat handle, one leg raised slightly, staring at this woman. Let me tell you this, she was reeaallllllyyyy old! And sweet bejeezers... she had to be a ninja! THERE WAS NO ONE BUT ME STANDING! To add further insult to injury, the woman was completely avoiding my gaze. I know this because I was staring at her a full one minute to see if she was for real.
Well I managed to turn away from her and return to the ladies side and to my horror saw a whole bunch of people laughing at me. They saw everything! I managed a shaky smile back so I would seem cool and unfazed by it, when the truth is, I was bested by an old woman half my size! (and my size is half the normal human size, so that's saying something) Thankfully, I got a seat in the next few minutes, probably out of pity, and managed to make myself inconspicuous. The entire ride home I kept replaying the scene in my head wondering from which dimension she came from.
Now, when I think about it, it seems ridiculously funny and am vary of all old women in buses.
